7 Responses

1. What stands out from Part One of Dare to Lead?
   What stood out most for me was the emphasis on vulnerability as the fundamental skill of courage-building. This was both affirming and challenging. The idea that people can grow up and form an “armour” to protect themselves was something to reflect on personally, how does this show up for me? And, in my team leader role, how have I seen this show up in others? It gave me a shift in perspective, considering both the teachers and Tamariki I work with to prepare them by not removing every obstacle in their path, but by equipping them with courage, praising effort, and modelling grit.
   Another key insight was the role of grounded confidence in leadership. Brené Brown describes this as the ability to stay anchored in your values and operate from self-awareness rather than self-protection and to whakatau and prepare for a difficult conversation when you are being self-reflective and feel you may be responding in an unhelpful way.

   What Daring Leadership tool is going to make the biggest difference to you as an educational leader?
   The tool that stood out for me is the idea of engaging in difficult conversations with clarity and groundedness. I’ve struggled with these conversations in the past and still find them challenging, often rushing toward resolution instead of sitting in the discomfort of uncertainty. The quote “It’s as if we would rather have a bad solution that leads to action than stay in the uncertainty of problem identification” captured this perfectly. I also found the reflective questions particularly helpful: What did we set out to do? What happened? What did we learn? How fast can we improve it? These provide a practical framework for me to approach challenging discussions collaboratively, with curiosity rather than worry.

   How can you be prepared, as a culturally responsive leader, to handle conflict and crisis as they arise? What biases or assumptions might you hold?
   This is personal for me. As someone who has been on the receiving end of cultural bias and assumptions throughout my life, I am committed to approaching others with a deep desire to uphold their mana and that of their cultures. I strive to lead with curiosity rather than assumption. I recognise that no one is ever fully free from bias, but holding a reflective stance and continually seeking understanding is central to my leadership approach.

   How have you/could you foster a culture of open dialogue and constructive feedback at your kura or in your team?
   In my new role, I’ve realised that trust is the essential foundation. One way I can foster trust is by modelling vulnerability, just as Dr. Sanee Bell exemplifies — sharing my own experiences and my “why” behind the work is a good starting point. When others see that I’m willing to show up honestly and openly, it invites them to do the same. I believe storytelling and lived experience are powerful tools for building relational trust and creating space for open dialogue.

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2. What stood out to me in Dare to Lead, was that leadership is about a willingness to be open, take risks, and own the outcomes, whether they are good or bad. Letting yourself be vulnerable and being aware of our biases and assumptions that we are all in a meeting for the same purpose. I didn’t quite get “rumbling’ to start with, but I now understand the idea of sitting in the “awkward” and having those hard conversations. I appreciated the prompts she mentioned for getting the most out of this.

   My learning partner and I reflected on the Module 6 questions. We’ve been thinking a lot about how leaders foster accountability and encourage collaborative problem-solving. It can be common to be the only one who comes up with ideas in a team meeting. Listening to Brené Brown has made us think it’s about clarity, kindness, and creating a safe environment. One way we could do this is by creating and then revisiting our values at the start of meetings and sharing what those values mean to each of us.

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3. Reflect on Part 1 of Dare to Lead, what stands out?
   Brown defines vulnerability NOT as weakness, but as the courage to show up and be seen when you’re uncertain, afraid, or imperfect. This contrasts with the traditional leadership model that emphasises strength, control, and invulnerability. Brown argues that leaders must be willing to show up, be seen, and face uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure which, as she states, is the definition of vulnerability. This includes having difficult conversations, taking risks, and admitting when they don’t have all the answers. This was something that definitely stood out for me. Embracing vulnerability fosters deeper connections, builds trust, and enhances communication within teams. When leaders demonstrate vulnerability, they create psychological safety, allowing team members to feel comfortable taking risks and expressing their true selves.

   What Daring Leadership tool is going to make the biggest difference to you as an educational leader?
   I enjoyed listening to Marshall Diggs – “Courageous Conversations” .
   He made sense when he stated that it is critical that we can regulate our emotions. Instead of going into a meeting feeling stressed and anxious, I need to be prepared mentally, I can then go into the meeting and calmly get my message across. His technique of quadrant breathing will help me to feel calm, and respond thoughtfully rather than reacting. As he explained, this will hopefully allow me to avoid the Flight-Fight-Freeze (FFF) response.

   Another tip was being very specific and get 95% of what I want to say in the first two minutes of the courageous conversation then pause – let the other person talk. “Spending time in the tension” – this is difficult as I know I would try and carry on talking to avoid the awkwardness of the conversation. I liked the use of prompts such as “help me understand the situation from your point of view……”or “tell me more please”……
   Learning to rumble – Clear is kind, Unclear is unkind – the more clear and specific I can be with my feedback, the more kinder this is .

   How can you be prepared as a culturally responsive leader, to handle conflict and crisis as it arises? What biases or assumptions might you hold?
   Go into the meeting with an open mind to avoid predetermined outcomes. Avoid generic statements – stick to the facts and again be as specific as possible. For ownership to take place, I need to use the following three statements
   What they did (be as specific as I can)
   How that made me feel
   My fear for the future

   How could you foster a culture of open dialogue and constructive feedback at your kura/your team?
   Its important for me when having a courageous conversation, that I preserve the mana of my team, and focus on creating a safe and respectful environment where they feel heard and valued. This involves active listening, empathy, and focusing on the issue rather than the person. I need to choose the right time and place for the conversation, and be clear and concise in my communication, and acknowledge the other person’s perspective and feelings.

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4. Reflect on Part 1 of Dare to Lead, what stands out?
   In part 1, section 5, Brown explores how grounded confidence with a form of genuine, practiced confidence merges. It’s not built on arrogance or posturing, but through experiencing vulnerability, curiosity and consistent practice. She emphasises that meaningful learning happens when we step into discomfort (what she calls “desirable difficulty”) which strengthens our capacity to lead courageously. Asking questions, even when the answers aren’t clear helps foster creativity, empathy, and deeper connections with others.

   What Daring Leadership tool is going to make the biggest difference to you as an educational leader?
   Be open to feeling uneasy with difficult conversations. I have resonated with the courageous conversations article by Marshall Diggs.
   A leader’s primary responsibility is to build and nurture strong relationships. This requires courage and deep emotional intelligence—the ability to know ourselves, regulate our emotions, and stay grounded in moments of stress. Self-regulation can be cultivated through practices such as meditation, mindful walks, or intentional breathing.

   How have you/could you foster a culture of open dialogue and constructive feedback at your kura/your team?
   Effective leaders learn to respond thoughtfully, rather than reacting impulsively. It’s essential to avoid the Flight–Fight–Freeze (FFF) response. Take a pause. Stay present. Let discomfort be part of the process without trying to escape it.

   How have you/could you foster a culture of open dialogue and constructive feedback at your kura/your team?
   When engaging in a difficult conversation, aim to speak 95% of what you need to say within the first two minutes. Then stop—and wait. Hold space. Let silence do its work.
   Don’t rush to resolution. Stay in the discomfort. This is where growth and truth emerge. Use open-ended, compassionate prompts like: “Help me understand…”“Tell me more.”“Go on, please…”These are foundational tools in learning to rumble—as Brené Brown describes it—engaging in tough conversations with empathy and accountability.
   Clarity is Kindness
   Be as specific as possible. Vague is unkind. Clear communication shows respect and prevents confusion. When offering feedback or addressing concerns, use Marshall Diggs’ framework to guide your message:
   What happened – Describe the behavior or event specifically.
   How it made you feel – Share the emotional impact.
   What you fear might happen next – Explain your concern for the future.
   As you lead, be intentional about preserving the mana (dignity, integrity, life force) of the other person. This honors their humanity, regardless of the conversation’s difficulty. Avoid unnecessary conflict. Choose compassion and respect while holding boundaries.

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5. Dare to Lead, what stands out for me:
   Brown isn’t simply giving leadership advice; she’s teaching a pattern interruption: stepping out of reactive autopilot, even amid stress or conflict. That single act of pausing and naming becomes an epicentre of possibility, especially for leaders cultivating empathy, innovation, and trusted relationships. Page 175 of Dare to Lead “Grounded confidence is the result of rumble skills, curiosity, and practice” and translates it into specific practices you can use in a primary school leadership setting. Rumble Skills in Classroom Leadership: Primary school leaders; whether you’re a Principal, Team Leader or a classroom teacher, constantly face rumbling moments: parent concerns, student conflicts, staff challenges. Developing rumble skills means engaging in these tough conversations with: Courage, Clarity, Curiosity, and Respect. It sets the tone for a school culture where concerns are addressed openly and constructively, rather than swept under the rug. By actively modeling curiosity, leaders show that every voice matters and that learning starts with inquiry, not judgment.

   What Daring Leadership tool is going to make the biggest difference to me as an educational leader? One of the most impactful Daring Leadership tools for educational leaders; based on Brené Brown’s Dare to Lead framework is “Living into Our Values.” This tool can make a profound difference because it creates alignment between personal values, leadership behaviour, and the school culture you’re trying to build.

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6. 1. In the opening chapter, Brené Brown argues that true leadership requires courage, and courage cannot exist without vulnerability. She challenges the common belief that vulnerability is weakness, asserting instead that it’s a key source of strength and connection. Vulnerability, she explains, is about showing up and being seen when you have no control over the outcome—it’s the risk you take when you choose courage over comfort. This idea is what stands out for me.
   2. The tools I have thought helpful are: Prepare mentally before a conversation by getting yourself into a calm and focused state. One technique is quadrant breathing, which helps regulate your nervous system so you can think clearly and respond thoughtfully, rather than reacting from your fight, flight, or freeze instincts. Go into the conversation with a “clear is kind” mindset—be honest and respectful. Start by naming what you’re observing, how it’s affecting you emotionally, and what concerns you have if things don’t change. This creates space for open dialogue rather than defensiveness. Finally, avoid entering the conversation with a fixed outcome in mind. Stay open to what the other person brings and be willing to co-create solutions, rather than trying to control the direction or end result of the meeting.
   3. It’s important to approach others with empathy—seeing with your heart rather than just your mind—so you can genuinely understand someone whose values or worldview differ from your own. This perspective helps to challenge unconscious bias and honour diverse experiences.In any courageous or challenging conversation, a key intention should be to uphold the mana of the other person, ensuring they feel respected and valued throughout. The goal is not to “win” the conversation but to ensure both people come away with their dignity and mana intact.These conversations are also opportunities for reciprocal learning, reflecting a tuakana–teina relationship where each person has something to offer and something to learn. It’s about staying open to the idea that no one holds all the answers, and that differing perspectives can sit side by side without one being right or wrong.
   4. To build a culture of genuine, open dialogue and constructive feedback within our team, it’s important to speak openly—and then allow space for silence. Silence can feel uncomfortable, but it’s often in that space that reflection happens and people begin to take real ownership of the issue. I’ve noticed this happen naturally in the past, and it’s been one of the most powerful catalysts for honest engagement and shared responsibility. Equally important is approaching these conversations without a fixed agenda or predetermined outcome. When we let go of control, we make space for true dialogue, where people feel safe to bring their full selves and contribute meaningfully. This openness invites collective insight, rather than one-sided direction. At the heart of this approach is respect—upholding mana, and assuming positive intent, even in moments of challenge. It’s about listening to understand, not to reply, and trusting that each person brings valuable perspective.Over time, this helps create a team culture where feedback is not feared, but welcomed as a way we grow together. By normalising courageous, respectful kōrero, we honour both individual voices and collective progress.

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7. What stands out for me in Dare to Lead is Rumbling with Discomfort: True leadership, according to Brown, involves a willingness to “rumble with discomfort.” This means leaning into difficult conversations, addressing conflict, and tackling challenging issues head-on rather than avoiding them. It requires courage and a commitment to truth and growth. I feel that this has been an ongoing growth in my journey.
   What Daring Leadership tool is going to make the biggest difference to you as an educational leader?
   Building Trust and Safety, Giving Authentic Feedback and leading through change are what will make a difference to me as a leader. Rumbling with vulnerability is about having those courageous conversations. This includes having honest conversations, acknowledging when new initiatives aren’t working as planned and admitting to my own limitations or mistakes as a leader.

   How can you be prepared as a culturally responsive leader, to handle conflict and crisis as it arises? I think that it is important for me to understand my own cultural lens and recognise how my own upbringing, cultural background, experiences, and social identities (race, class, gender, etc.) shape my worldview, values, communication style, and responses to conflict. By building genuine relationships with students, staff, families, and community members from diverse backgrounds will support and prepare me to handle conflict. This involves actively listening, seeking to understand their perspectives, and showing genuine care.This will create an environment where everyone feels safe to speak up, express concerns, and make mistakes without fear.

   How have you/could you foster a culture of open dialogue and constructive feedback at your kura/your team?I have to Lead by example. I would actively seek feedback on my own performance, decisions, and communication style. This means openly admitting when I don’t have all the answers, acknowledging mistakes, and demonstrating a genuine desire to learn and improve. Prioritise building strong, trust-based relationships with every individual as well as regular check-ins, informal check-ins (e.g., weekly or fortnightly) where feedback is a natural part of the conversation. Adopt a coaching leadership style, asking powerful questions that encourage self-reflection and problem-solving, rather than simply dictating solutions.

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