Due: End of Term 2/3 school holidays
NB: We have had a technical issue which has been brought to our attention, and this module was not displayed online as per the timeline – our apologies.
Mā mua ka kite a muri; Mā muri ka ora a mua.
Those who lead give sight to those who follow; Those who follow give life to those who lead.
Module Objectives:
- Understand the dynamics of challenging conversations.
- Develop and apply strategies for effective communication in challenging situations.
- Explore and apply various conflict resolution strategies.
- Foster a culture of open dialogue and constructive feedback.
- Identify and address personal biases and assumptions that may impact communication and conflict resolution.
“To lead effectively we’re responsible for respecting and leveraging the different views and staying curious about how they can often conflict.” (Dare to Lead, page 174).
As educational leaders, we often have a different horizon and perspective to our colleagues.
Even as teachers wearing different ‘hats’, for example, on different curriculum committees, we will be focused on different goals. It’s up to us, as leaders, to communicate our perspective, try to use our empathy skills to see from our colleagues’ perspectives, and rumble enough to get on the same page when we can. So how do we do this?
“Developing a disciplined practice of rumbling with vulnerability gives leaders the strength and emotional stamina to dare greatly.” (Dare to Lead, Page 167).
There is a need to empower school leaders with conflict management training before they assume their leadership positions.
Provocation/Task:
“The only thing I know for sure after all of this research is that if you’re going to dare greatly, you’re going to get your ass kicked at some point. If you choose courage, you will absolutely know failure, disappointment, setback, even heartbreak. That’s why we call it courage. That’s why it’s so rare.” (Brene Brown, Dare to Lead).
Choose a question(s) to discuss with your learning partner, via email/phone/online conversation. You might want to share a particular challenging conversation you have had recently or have coming up with your learning partner and seek advice from a different perspective. Share your thoughts after the conversion as a forum response in less than 150 words:
★ Reflect on Part 1 of Dare to Lead, what stands out?
★ What Daring Leadership tool is going to make the biggest difference to you as an educational leader?
★ How can you be prepared as a culturally responsive leader, to handle conflict and crisis as it arises? What biases or assumptions might you hold?
★ How have you/could you foster a culture of open dialogue and constructive feedback at your kura/your team?
Resources:
- Dare to Lead, Brene Brown, Part 1: Section 5 (page 165-181 with a focus on page 174).
- Whānau, hapū, iwi, Māori communities and schools working together (Page 6-11): https://www.ppta.org.nz/communities/tangata-whenua/document/551
- Leading from the Middle: Educational Leadership for Middle and Senior Leaders, page 18 https://www.educationalleaders.govt.nz/Leadership-development/Key-leadership-documents/Leading-from-the-middle
Additional/Optional Readings:
- TED TALK: Why good leaders make you feel safe: Simon Sinek, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lmyZMtPVodo
- Marshall Diggs – Courageous Conversations – https://youtu.be/3RT0Fgirlv0?si=1IO_HaE0o-yrb52K
- Emma Kingston – Leading with Courage – https://youtu.be/Eq1gU1FDFpg?si=IsHdSDYVxlyiDIEf
Assessment:
- Completion of all readings.
- Participation in the online forum discussion.
- Submission of reflection on the forum.
23 Responses
How have you/could you foster a culture of open dialogue and constructive feedback at your kura/your team?
I reckon one of the most important things when it comes to good communication and strong relationships is that old saying: be curious, not judgmental. It’s simple, but there’s a lot behind it. When we approach people with genuine curiosity instead of jumping to conclusions, we give ourselves the chance to really understand where they’re coming from. That makes space for honest, respectful kōrero. I’ve found that how someone responds in a conversation often depends on how their last one went. If they felt listened to and treated with respect, they’re much more likely to be open next time. But if they felt shut down or judged, it’s no surprise they might pull back or be hesitant.A quote I often come back to is, “Trust takes years to build, but seconds to lose.” It’s such a sobering reminder of how fragile trust can be, and how much care we need to take in our interactions with others. When we are in conversation with someone—especially about something difficult or emotionally charged—it’s vital that we uphold their mana and dignity It means choosing our words with care, and being aware of the way our body language, tone, and facial expressions might be interpreted.
Probably more about values than communication.A work on for me will be before entering a tricky conversation, ask my self : “Am I being curious or judgmental?” Take a breath, assume good intent, and go in ready to learn.
Reflecting on Part 1 of Dare to Lead, a big stand out for me is that ‘clear is kind, unclear is unkind.’ Being honest may sometimes be uncomfortable but being direct and compassionate will help all involved in the long term. That small moment of discomfort will create a stronger team.
I strongly connected with her discussion of empathy and vulnerability. My team are naturally very empathetic and vulnerable with each other which has allowed me to open up and be the same with them. I have found that they would not feel as safe to share their vulnerability with me if I did not do the same. I resonated with ‘vulnerability is not a weakness; it shows a willingness to learn.’ Being vulnerable shows that you care and want the best for your team and your students.
My biggest focus and takeaway moving forward is to continue to realise the moments of discomfort are worth it in the long term to benefit the entire team and continue to build development of the teachers as well as my own leadership.
One of the big takeaways from Brene Brown’s text ‘Dare to Lead’ is the idea that the confidence of effective leaders cannot be fact, and embraces vulnerability and a changing of views at times.
Being vulnerable is not a weakness; it shows a willingness to be honest and learn. This year, our team has looked at assessment under the microscope, and how we, in fact, may not be assessing as effectively as possible in certain situations/areas. This could be a potentially touchy subject, and could be one that causes anxiety or for team members to shut off. However, leading with an open mind and with appropriate vulnerability has allowed us to go into the inquiry together.
The text, in general, has been great. The ‘clear is kind’ idea has really stuck with me too.
Thanks for your post Tim. I’m pleased you found the text useful and relevant. The emphasis on vulnerability comes through repeatedly and I believe is more about showing humility and be open to learning, respecting others perspectives, than the arrogance that the leader holds all the answers. I like how you have related this to your own leadership context.
The things that have stood out the most for me in Part 1 of “Dare to Lead’ is the fact that it is important not to be stuck with assumptions but to be open to a new way of looking at whatever the issue might be.
Every person comes to the table with their own intersectionality, this influences all that we do and makes us the unique person we are, this also makes things rarely black and white.
As a leader it is important for me to be able to see people where they are at, to be willing to listen and learn where they are coming from, what their perspectives and points of view are.
I need to be willing to test and explore my own convictions and assumptions in order to have these courageous conversations and therefore achieve beneficial resolutions and solutions.
I really like the rumble starters and questions Brene talks about. These are great ways to start those conversations without making others go on the defensive. To acknowledge where they are coming from, that they have skills and knowledge that is valuable and to look at things from their points of view is an important step towards getting others to be willing to look and listen to what I have to say also.
Sometimes it is just about spending time with that person to actually have a face to face conversation, open communication, where they feel listened to and heard. It is also important that these conversations happen at the right time and it is ok to stop someone and state that the time and place isn’t quite right – suggesting that there is a catch up another time – then make that time with them then and there – and stick to it.
In order to do this effectively I need to be strong in my own convictions and my ‘Why’. I know that leaders are often the ones who need to have these courageous conversations and must often navigate discomfort, uncertainty and a range of emotions, but in order to make the connections with others that are needed to form an effective team for our students this is important.
It takes courage and strength of conviction to be an effective leader – as the title suggests “Dare” to Lead.
It is a real challenge to reflect on our biases and assumptions as you comment on here. I believe it is also a key strength of good leaders and a skill that can be developed over time aided by a mentor, coach or close trusted colleagues. The value of face to face can’t be underestimated nor the importance of timing of the conversation. The rumble starters will be useful in your engagement with colleague’s and give you courage to have the challenging conversations when required.
I chose to focus on – How can you be prepared as a culturally responsive leader, to handle crisis and conflict as it arises. What biases or assumptions might you hold.
The bit that draws my attention is the biases or assumptions that you might hold. I have seen time and time again the assumptions teachers have made of students. Based on numerous things. For example their previous siblings that they may have taught, being the model student, this current student not so much. Current pastoral records or what has been preconceived from other teachers. But the worst is probably the reputation of students that are passed on from the community be it through social media or just general talk. Eg “did you hear about student X……”.
As a culturally responsive leader l look at all students and staff. As a dean, not just from a learning point of view but a relational point of view. I think it is vitally important to know all your students and their whanau, as well as your staff and how they function. Especially the ones you deal with on a regular basis. I try hard to do this. Taking off the amour has been scary at times but has helped this especially showing vulnerability. This has helped a lot with staff interactions and challenging conversations. This relationship that you forge here has made the crisis and conflict that will inevitably come with those challenging students and staff a lot more manageable and successful. This can be applied in both the classroom and in my deaning role. As a result of this the rumble starters and questions jumped out to me as something we do anyway but these specific questions can provide information but also keep peoples mana intact. I tried these with a few students. With interesting results. This also made me remember an interaction I had having being a part of a courageous conversation many years ago where bias and assumptions were made and how rubbish I felt coming out of that. Based on what I have learnt over the last few terms this will remain an example with me of what not to do and will stay with me forever. Marshall and Emmas videos gave really good insight into how to tackle these conversations.
I have applied this culturally responsive approach combine with some rumble starters in a few instances during term 2 and is has brought massive impact especially pastorally dealing with students and parents. Normally I would be happy with a phone call but a face to face meeting even though challenging brought other important information that allowed us to support our students and then pass this on to the classroom teacher which this then changed their approach to the student in positive ways. It also brought to light issues outside of school that we were able to support parents with and as a result closer relationships with whanau.
Great to hear that the readings and video’s have been useful for you Jeremy. Well done on having the courage to tackle your own biases and assumptions. This is hard to do in a genuine way as you have seen from your dealing with teachers in regard to their assumptions about students.I look forward to hearing of further progress when we meet online in week 5.
I’m combining a few of the provocations in the prompts: using Brene’s “rumble starters” to assist with fostering clear & respectful dialogue and feedback within my pastoral team, and also unpacking possible biases/assumptions which some of my team have when working pastorally with our ākonga. We have to establish and foster effective working relationships with ākonga and their whānau AT A DISTANCE; i.e. over the phone, by email, text or if we’re having a good day, online. The lack of face to face daily interactions with our ākonga is a big obstacle to overcome, and some of my team have not had a lot of pastoral experience other than Form teacher duties such as uniform checks, absence notes etc. I see those Rumble starters as fantastic places to start unpacking what the Kaimanaaki (learning mentor) is assuming about their hard to contact or seemingly unmotivated ākonga/elusive whānau member, and to create some awareness of other responses, actions and attitudes that could be more helpful with establishing a productive working relationship.
Great to hear the resources are valuable in your leadership role with your team in interactions with their ākonga. Your context is certainly challenging in regard to fostering meaningful relationships.
How can you be prepared as a culturally responsive leader, to handle conflict and crisis as it arises? The PPTA TE WEHENGARUA ANNUAL CONFERENCE 2017 document suggested four approaches; mutual respect, holistic practices (wellbeing being at
the centre), constructive engagements and values/practices to strengthen cultural self-esteem.
It’s paramount to connect on a personal level to establish a relationship. Who you are must always come before what you are. Building on this will help to create a strong foundation for future open dialogue. Trusted relationships gain understanding and insight into what you can offer. Focus on sharing discussion on real interests. However, the key element within these strategies is to actively listen with a view of working together. Making assumptions or having a predetermined agenda will do little to resolve conflicts if you are not listening. It is important to negotiate a response that provides a working partnership to develop collaborative connections.
What biases or assumptions might I hold? There could be several, such as my own upbringing, my own values or education. By being continually reflective of my learning, seeking feedback and growing my professional development, are ways I can try to identify and change my biases.
I agree with your comment that “actively listening with a view to working together” is essential to develop trusting relationships. Being open to learning from others is imperative to develop a partnership. Openness, in the form of self reflection is essential to identify biases that we hold. A trusted colleague or friend could be valuable to assist with this reflection.
I have chosen to reflect on the first question: “Reflect on Part 1 of Dare to Lead – what stands out?”
I selected this question because my learning throughout this course has strongly aligned with the values, ideas, tools, and philosophies presented in Dare to Lead by Brené Brown. Several key concepts resonated with me:
1. Being Brave Enough to Dare:
This concept struck a personal chord, particularly as I’ve been personally navigating the tension between self-belief and self-doubt throughout this year. Brené’s perspective—that daring means accepting that failure is possible, yet still choosing to show up wholeheartedly—helped me reframe my self-doubt as something meaningful. It’s a sign that I care, that I’m invested in doing well and that I’m engaged in the difficult but necessary work of growth. This mindset has encouraged me to continue stepping forward with courage, giving myself the self belief that I can do this!
2. Vulnerability:
I’ve started to embrace vulnerability within my team, allowing others to see more of who I am—not just as a leader, but as a person. By being open about my challenges, asking for help and offering opportunities for others to lead, I’ve seen how this not only builds mutual trust and respect, but opens the door for others to be vulnerable too. Acknowledging my mistakes and sharing my values and goals has helped foster a team culture in understanding and connection. I now recognise that vulnerability is not a weakness, but a powerful leadership tool.
3. Rumbling:
I found Brené’s information around rumbling interesting especially “rumble starters”. They have helped me think more intentionally about how to engage in courageous conversations that are open, honest and grounded in mutual respect. These tools provide a structure for navigating tough topics while having a safe place to be open and honest. I’ve come to understand that when trust is established, these “rumbles” can empower all voices to be heard and create opportunities for shared growth and deeper self-awareness.
I really enjoyed reading your post Ashleigh. Congratulations on opening up on a personal note and being “vulnerable”. I especially enjoyed how the reading have “helped you reframe my self-doubt as something meaningful”.
Being prepared to show vulnerability is a strength of great leadership requiring courage whilst fostering acceptance of this quality within the team.
Having a kēte of “rumble starters” will grow confidence to engage in challenging conversations in a meaningful and constructive way.
I chose to focus on the question ‘Reflect on Part 1 of Dare to Lead, what stands out?’. As this has really stood out to me in more ways than just professionally and in the bigger picture helped me reflect on general relationship building in my own life, my role as a Dean with students and my role as a colleague.
A few keys areas:
Empathy – it is often something that is taken on with tokenism. However the way this section was written I found extremely effective and relatable especially as a Dean. I appreciated the concepts of what goes against empathy and how we as people tend to navigate away from this and back to comfort, and allowing and recognizing someone’s emotions for what they are is important. I find at times I do some of the defaults that Brene was talking about so I look forward to the challenge of sitting with empathy more intentionally and allowing others emotions to be seen and understood.
This also linked for me, to how she mentioned about recognizing everyone’s strengths and allowing these to shine, as everyone needs there own sense of belonging and poor “behavior” can occur when people seek this for themselves.
Rumbling – I LOVED this with both the video and more so in the reading. The word rumbling threw me off to begin with but the idea of sitting in the “awkward” and hard conversations and the prompts she mentioned on how to get the most out of this I find enlightening. The concept the we all need to be aware of our bias and our assumptions that we are all in a meeting for the same purpose was great! I truly think this is a tool that is helpful to use whether with students, parents or colleagues. Linking this with the clear is kind I found helpful, as well as in the extra readings around how we lose clarity when we do the positive sandwich. This is something I do find I do sometimes to ensure that ‘wrath’ of any unhappiness if almost distracted – I am challenging myself to no longer allow myself the ‘out’ to do this and to lean into these conversations more.
All of this as mentioned by others leads to the idea of Vulnerability – I like that she tied this in with emotional intelligence – it is something that I put my Dean hat on and found that we as educators need to remind ourselves to teach and openly communicate this with our future generations. But also to role model this ourselves. I look forward to taking on this challenge. It rang very true when she shared the experience of her time highlighting her own downfall with ‘timing’.
Thanks for sharing your post Rebecca. It is exciting to hear how the readings have been meaningful for you in a holistic manner. I agree that empathy is hard to grow and practice but invaluable as a person and especially in a leadership role. I like what you write about the challenge of sitting with empathy more intentionally and seeking to feel and understand other peoples emotions.
Great reflections on “rumbling” and your intent to lean into these challenging conversations more!
Reflecting on Module 6 – What Daring Leadership tool is going to make the biggest difference to you as an educational leader?
For me, the most impactful tool from Module 6 was Vulnerability. As an educational leader, embracing vulnerability challenges the traditional notion that leaders must always be certain, strong, and emotionally guarded. Vulnerability isn’t a weakness—it’s a powerful tool for connection, growth, and courage.
By being open about challenges, admitting when I don’t have all the answers, and showing up authentically, I can create a culture of trust and psychological safety among staff and students. It also encourages others to take risks, share ideas and learn from failure without fear of judgment. Leading with vulnerability ultimately paves the way for more honest conversations, stronger relationships and a more resilient school community.
My biggest focus would be sharing my story and my why for leading. I generally put the team first and don’t explain my life journey and leave my personal life at the door, whilst encouraging the team to share theirs. Changing this will be a key factor in practicing vulnerability and encouraging the bravery of sharing and owning their life journey from the team. Promoting the commitment to courage as a team!
I love how you connected the idea of vulnerability and leading with this to creating a school environment where people take risks and also it leading to creating a resilient school community.
I find this evident especially with our students who are currently lacking resilience and are fearful of risk taking and get quite anxious when there is a task ahead of them where the outcome is uncertain – As my role as a Dean this is where I see this most.
I also see this with many of our staff struggling to have these vulnerable conversations with students in restorative settings.
Thank you – I sometimes see my team members needing support too!
Thanks for sharing your post Michelle. I’m reminded of the comment ” know me before you judge me” when I read your reflection. Showing vulnerability certainly takes courage but as you comment grows connection, growth and courage.
One standout insight from Dare to Lead is that “clear is kind.” Last year, I led a team member through a competency process due to ongoing planning issues. While uncomfortable, staying calm and direct ensured she clearly understood expectations. It was clarity delivered with compassion, not criticism.
The “rumble with vulnerability” tool has made the biggest difference in my leadership. This year, our team explored and shared our core values, discussing how they show up in our work, and what it feels like when they’re not honoured. This process has strengthened our relational trust and created a safe space for open, honest feedback.
As a culturally responsive leader, I’m learning to pause and question my own assumptions, like believing silence equals agreement. I now ask, “Whose voice or perspective is missing?”
This ongoing work has helped foster a team culture where people feel safe to speak honestly, give feedback, and grow together.
Love the idea of how you utilised a rumble with your core values! Think that is awesome and something I am keen to mirror! 🙂
I enjoyed reading your reflection on how showing vulnerability has impacted on your leadership. Great to hear about the growth in relational trust and open, honest feedback within your team. I also like your reflection on whose voice or perspective is missing and questioning your own assumptions.