Due: End of the holidays (date adjusted to allow you time to connect with your learning partner.)
Ma te huru huru, Ka rere te manu
With feathers, a bird can fly
Daniel Goleman’s 1995 seminal work ‘Emotional Intelligence’ introduced the concept of EQ (emotional quotient) as opposed to IQ (intelligence quotient) to analyse employee performance. EQ is a measure of the ability to recognise, understand and manage our own emotions and those of others. Goleman suggested there is far more to being successful than high levels of cognitive intelligence and that ‘emotional intelligence’, is twice as important as cognitive intelligence for predicting career success. He suggested high levels of emotional intelligence improve working relationships, help people to develop problem solving skills, increase efficiency and effectiveness and catalyse the development of new strategies. Rather than influencing exam scores or report writing, emotional intelligence influences how we control our own emotions and deal with relationships.
The 5 elements of EQ are:
- Self-awareness People are comfortable with their own thoughts and emotions and understand how they impact on others. Understanding and accepting the way you feel can be the first step to overcoming it.
- Self-regulation Control and manage your impulses and emotions. Acting rashly or can lead to mistakes being made which can damage relationships with staff, parents or students.
- Internal Motivation Being driven by passion for educating young people, rather than just earning money. This leads to sustained motivation and clear decision making.
- Empathy Not only must you understand your own emotions, but understanding and reacting to the emotions of others is also important. Identifying a certain mood or emotion from a teacher or student and reacting to it can go a long way in developing your relationship.
- Social Skill This is more than just being friendly. Goleman it as “friendliness with a purpose”, meaning everyone is treated politely and with respect. Healthy relationships lead to positive school culture.
Goleman argues that individuals that adopt these characteristics give themselves a far greater chance of being successful than individuals that do not. However, individuals are not simply born with these skills and they can be learned.
Provocation:
Pick one of the elements of EQ that is a strength and another which is a weakness.
Share your reflections with your learning partner(s) and ask them for their advice – What practices could you adopt to grow the weakness into a strength? What impact would this have on your leadership? Your conversation could be via video call, phone call, email… whatever works for you.
On the forum – post what your biggest ‘takeaway’ from this discussion was.
Resources:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6bbLWsvDW5o Daniel Goleman on the importance of EQ (2mins) – where he talks about business and customers. Think curriculum and students!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Gpn_06NT9w The 10 qualities of an emotionally intelligent person
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=auXNnTmhHsk&list=RDLVauXNnTmhHsk&start_radio=1&rv=auXNnTmhHsk&t=6 Travis Bradbury – The power of emotional intelligence.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cZjqpTsnc3I 4 things emotionally intelligent people don’t do.
44 Responses
In terms of EQ I think that the space I work in, physical education and health as well as the pastoral space is because I am empathetic to the needs of others. However, like all of us I can get frustrated when I set high expectations for others and they may not meet these. Through these videos, Growth Culture Course, and meetings with my Kairahi I have come to realise that I might have confused being empathetic and thinking I had to ‘rescue’ my department in situations. I have now learnt to amplify the good in what they do ‘over-reaching’ at times, give positive construction, and allow them time to complete the said task. I feel a shift has occurred in relationships with my staff where I have tried to engage positively with our faculty members, connecting with each of them and their individual needs. Taking a meaningful interest in what they do and how they and their family are, as well ensuring they feel supported and I will support them has helped us to gain greater connection and also better outcomes for our tamariki.
I have no doubt that you’re a really good mother Annette and basically it’s the same technique. I’m sure you won’t be rescuing your children but encouraging them to be their best selves and noticing when they make progress towards the great people you know they will be.
Goleman’s empathy – leaders need to be tuned into their people. Being aware of your impact on others, what you do and what you say. I found this video clip to be very powerful. We do have a big impact on colleagues.
Learning to manage emotions, both our own and others is a constant work on.
Emotional Intelligence is a key aspect of my day-to-day work in the Guidance space. Staying calm and measured in tough situations.
One big takeaway for me is that I need to invest more time with my team, taking more interest in their lives beyond the school. This presents an interesting challenge as I do have members in my team who I struggle with. They are very different to myself and can be very negative and down on all things in the school. Maybe, I cannot change their outlook as such but perhaps I can consider my own approach with them.
I tend to find myself being drawn to the more positive members of the team who I can be lighthearted with and also we share things in common with similar outlooks. I need to consider ways to involve all members of the team. I have been aware that the negative team members may well be feeling isolated from the whole (not helped by my own actions). I intend to work on this over the next few weeks at our team meetings. I do like the EQ elements and feel that this can guide me.
I also really enjoyed the story of Phineas Gage!
It is undoubtedly easier to work with people who are like ourselves. Negative team members can be very draining. You just have to be the parent here and ‘love’ them into a better frame of mind. Think of when you were dealing with your own grumpy toddlers. I know it’s hard when you are such a positive person yourself.
This module has highlighted the importance of emotional intelligence in building strong relationships and fostering a positive team culture. Understanding and managing our emotions is essential for achieving success.
I’m driven by internal motivation, but I recognise that self-awareness is a challenge for me. Recognising and understanding my emotions is key to building strong relationships and communicating effectively. To address this, I could seek honest feedback from colleagues, set specific goals for personal growth, and try to embrace mistakes as opportunities for learning and growth. By becoming more self-aware, I hope to improve my communication skills, build stronger relationships with my colleagues, and collaborate more effectively. (which is really important in my role as a classroom teacher in a collaborative space as well).
This is an interesting reflection, Kelly-Anne. I wonder how you might seek feedback from colleagues on an area as personal as this.
Hi Emma, I was thinking that the feedback from colleagues would be more around my communication. Sorry if this was unclear.
Ah got it! That is an easier one to seek feedback on!
I found this really interesting, especially in the current education climate. There is so much change being thrown at us and so much unknown which can lead to heightened emotions and a tendency to rush into things. I have found myself really self-regulating my reactions to announcements and changes to best support my team. At times, this means modelling keeping an open mind until we know more to stop rushing in; other times being more positive to keep negativity at bay. As a leader during these changes, this can be tricky but it is so important to take a breath and focus on what is important
On a personal level, I think it reiterates to me the importance of social relationships within a team. Taking the time to talk to and interact with staff on a personal level builds the connections of the group and makes people feel seen and supported in everything. It is so easy to get busy and focus on just work issues without taking that time. This is something I need to continue to remind myself!
You are not wrong about the need to remind ourselves of things we know are important every now and again! Especially in uncertain times, as you say.
I really enjoyed this module, it gave me a lot of things to think about. My strength, and I think this is not surprising given the job we are in, is empathy. The ability to connect with others, relate to them, feel what they’re feeling, is something I find can come quite easily to me. However, in saying this, too much of something isn’t always great and I do need to be mindful of how much I empathise with others and at times, put boundaries in place. An area for development for me is self-regulation. I can be quite impulsive, something I am learning to curb but it’s in my fiery nature! One thing that I got out of talking with my learning partner about was the importance of thinking time. Take time to think through the situation, think about the options available and process the situation. This will also give me time to calm my own feelings and clear my head, therefore improving my ability to self-regulate.
I’m naturally a bit like you Olivia and think I have to fix things now. One of my ‘better’ Principals always said a night’s reflection yields better results. Such a temptation to rush in with the bandaids though.
This was an interesting task. I appreciate Goleman’s mahi and how it made us stop and consider where we sit in our EQs. Identifying strengths and areas for development, was challenging, it involved being thorough and digging deeper into the ‘why’. I identified self-regulation as an area for development – my protective nature often has me jumping to defence for the ‘underdog’ before I’ve taken the time to consider the whole bigger picture. I need to be more self-aware, particularly in situations that require me to pause for a moment before acting. As a leader, I need to consider how my own behaviour can enhance and add fuel to positive and trusting relationships or completely destroy them.
Perceptive comments Wiki. You are a real rescuer of people and I suspect that sometimes it’s to your own disadvantage. There is a fine line between passion and impulsiveness sometimes.
I found the idea in ‘4 things emotionally intelligent people don’t do’ that emotional intelligence isn’t something you have or don’t have – but that everyone has the capacity for emotional intelligence and that there are things to stop doing to allow that emotional intelligence to shine through – interesting. I know that in periods of stress, I find it harder to perform emotional intelligence.
I do wonder in this video how some of his ideas tie into neurodiversity and mental health e.g. someone might have anxiety and therefore may hate feeling helpless or ruminate over the past, but I think can still demonstrate emotional intelligence and empathy for others? Someone with autism might not present emotional intelligence in the same way as someone neurotypical, but does that mean they’re not emotionally intelligent? I’m not sure if I’ve fully articulated my thinking here or whether I have any sort of conclusion.
I do know that the leaders I’ve really engaged with or respected have been ones with strong emotional intelligence, but there’s not one way of how that looks or sounds.
In emailing my learning partner, I’ve reflected on self-regulation, as this is an area I’ve sometimes found challenging. Now working in leadership spaces, I’ve had to be quite careful with body language and facial expression clues and leaving wait time before responding, particularly with a thorny issue.
These are all skills that you can learn Aimee primarily because you care enough to look for ways to help relationships. I take your point that acquiring these personal skills are easier for some than others but you do get credit for trying.
My biggest takeaway from Daniel Goleman’s video was that you as the leader drive the path forward through your understanding of all the factors around you. For example, as the leader you need to be aware of everything that can be affecting your team at any given time and use the different points of EQ to lead your team in the right way. If there are things not going right, a leader who has the ability to tap into all of their EQ elements is going to be successful. I know an area for development for me is Self-regulation Control – not allowing my instant thoughts overwhelm my decision making and the way I speak to those around me. Time to step away and think before speaking is so important and knowing that impulsive conversations can hinder the relationships around us.
Spot on summation and understanding of using EQ to help lead your team Femke. Taking time to step away and breathe/think/reflect before speaking/acting is an exellent self-regulating strategy.
I enjoyed this module and the accompanying videos. My key takeaway is the vital role that Emotional Intelligence has in determining a person’s success. High levels of emotional intelligence can lead to a more positive team culture and successful relationships within teams and schools.
I believe my strength is Empathy but for me this can become a weakness as I can become burdened with others issues and try to help everyone often to my own detriment. I can often take on the worries of others and attempt to make their issues my problems.
My weakness, I feel, may be Internal Motivation because I do feel motivated by a passion to see children succeed but needing to recognise and look at high standards versus expectations I have of myself and others in my team and work/life balance.
It is so interesting that our strengths can be ‘double-edged swords’ isn’t it? I remember talking to someone who was incredibly positive and upbeat – something I could only see as a wonderful trait to have. But, to some of her colleagues, this was seen as a negative trait as they didn’t feel she validated their real struggles.
Sheree and I had our kōrero a week and a half ago near the end of term, so I’ve had ample opportunity for reflection. I would say that my strength is empathy (which can conversely be somewhat of a weakness if I become unproductively burdened with others’ troubles). My weakness is self-regulation, I continue to work on balancing passion with professionalism. Talking with Sheree helped me to reflect upon, and challenge, my (sometimes unrealistic) expectations of myself. I’m blessed to have colleagues who (mostly) bring out the best in me.
Claire, I agree that not only should we have realistic expectations of those that we lead but also realistic expectations of ourselves. Great to hear that you are blessed to have colleagues who bring out the best in you. My mantra with my leadership team: “We are better together”.
My key takeaway from the discussion on Daniel Goleman’s concept of emotional intelligence (EQ) is that EQ skills are such an essential skill to have as an effective leader. EQ is not just one key skill or strategies for the workplace but the way in which we live our lives and interact with people. I identified that my strengths can also be my weaknesses, the key being that I need awareness of when my strengths are becoming weakness. I also identified that recently I have put a personal focus on my self-regulation. Knowing that in order to be a good leader, I need to bring balance to the role. Modelling for others that being aware of your emotions and outside influences and how they can affect how I resolve a conflict or celebrate a celebration.
Jackie, self regulation is an excellent EQ skill to focus on particularly when resolving conflict.
My takeaway from Daniel Goleman’s ideas around Emotional Intelligence (EQ), is as a leader it is extremely important to be able to empathize and relate to your work colleagues. If you are unable to do this it will be difficult to create a positive culture and an effective team. It is important working in my role to “recognise, understand and manage my own emotions” as well as being aware of others in your team. This may be more difficult when you are under pressure. To be able to understand other people’s emotions and respond appropriately is key when communicating through difficult situations in our job. As an educator, we should always be willing to improve ourselves whether it’s in our management of others or teaching our practice.
Absolutely. We all have failings but, without being a learner, we cannot grow and develop.
My key takeaway is how our emotions can drive our behaviour and impact others. I was reflecting on how my emotions as a leader affect my team that I guide. High levels of emotional quotient improve relationships and I feel this is growing within my team and with the whole staff. Key factors are having empathy and reacting to the emotions of others as this helps develop strong relationships.
Something that I need to be more aware of is self awareness and understand how my expectations may affect others. I looked more closely into high standards vs unrealistic expectations. Having unrealistic expectations can lead to stress, disappointment and self criticism.
Reflect on your expectations, are they realistic and attainable? Set goals within reach, break goals into smaller more manageable steps.
I really enjoyed catching up with Claire and we were both able to support each other. It was great to talk to someone outside of your school environment. Happy holidays everyone, rest up, look after your own well being and reflect on all the great things we are doing, especially the little things.
Sheree, it is great to hear that your partnership with Claire is active. An outside perspective is always helpful. I love your comments re self awareness arround realistic/unrealistic expectations.
It was a very timely catch up indeed. I’ll post my module provocation response separately to this comment, but I just wanted to acknowledge the support of my awesome learning partner Sheree.
Daniel Goleman’s discussion on Emotional Intelligence (EQ) has helped me reflect on my practices, and on whether I can manage and control my emotions in specific situations. Having empathy for others is key, and supports me in connecting more with my colleagues, knowing that I am there to walk with them through situations they go through. It is always good to also have self-awareness of matters, situations, environments, and moods that surround us, as this can help us read the room and help us approach different situations appropriately. From experience, I have had positive feedback on being able to connect and show empathy with my colleagues, but at times, I do get advised to also look after myself and not take on too much, as this can then become a burden and a “burn-out”, so it is important to also self-care for yourself, especially if we are dealing with colleagues and students.
Your response is very sound Erica. I have noted that you exude empathy and while that is helpful in terms of forming supportive relationships, it does come at a personal cost of burnout. Do take time to refill your own personal bucket.
Your comments around empathy –> burnout resonate with me, Erica. For me, establishing boundaries between having empathy with people versus taking too much on my own shoulders is a work in progress!
I am reflecting on what I need to improve upon in terms of my ‘social skills ‘and how by positive action, it can help me to be a more effective and empathetic leader for my team. I know that although I am respectful of others, there needs to be consistency on my part, with the realization that we are all different, in how we deal with inter-personal relationships. Having an opportunity for feedback from my professional colleagues, will also help me personally to develop, learn and extend the necessary skills required, for my contribution to an ongoing positive school culture.
Definitely, Pratima. We all have people who we gravitate towards more easily and can empathise with less trouble. It’s those people who are different to that we need to work extra hard with. It is so easy to sit next to the same few people in the staffroom each day, isn’t it?!
The insights from Daniel Goleman’s video showed the critical role of empathy in leadership, highlighting its ability to enhance understanding and refine the impact of one’s actions and words.
Drawing on my strengths, I am recognised for my empathetic nature and strong social skills, which enable me to intuitively grasp others’ emotions and foster positive relationships across diverse groups—whether students, colleagues, or parents. These qualities not only facilitate effective support and encouragement but also foster trust and rapport within our school community. Moving forward, I am committed to seeking constructive feedback from peers, setting clear personal development goals, and viewing setbacks as opportunities for learning and growth.
I agree 100% Sonyah, that empathy and strong social skills builds positive relatonships and high trust which is essential for effective leadership.
The takeaway from Daniel Goleman’s video was the many layers of empathy and the importance of empathy as it allows a leader to understand the impact of what they do and what they say, to fine tune it, and to change it as needed. I also connected with the “4 Things Emotionally Intelligent People Don’t Do” and that people are held back by a collection of bad habits that get in the way. “More about what you do less of, not more of” – criticising others, worrying about the future, ruminating on past mistakes and maintaining unrealistic expectations.
For me, self awareness would be one of the things I had not considered important for emotional intelligence. Being self aware is important for managing my emotions and understanding others. Some strategies I could focus on moving forward would be, to seek honest feedback from trusted colleagues, set goals for personal development and view mistakes as opportunities for growth.
Improving self awareness will ensure better communication, stronger relationships and enhanced collaboration. It would also allow for a clear vision and personalised guidance for team members.
Bronwyn, “Four things Emotionally Intelligent People Don’t Do” also resignated with me. Your startegies for strengthening self awareness are excellent.
Really enjoyed your response and I feel very similar. I need to look and reflect on my mistakes as opportunities for growth as opposed to worrying that I have let someone down or not met my own expectation. Have a great holiday.
Sheree
Bronwyn, Sheree and I talked about keeping expectations of ourselves and others realistic. I’ve got a little mantra running in my head these days: “You are enough” 🙂
The biggest takeaway from the discussion with my learning partner and researching in terms of the Empathy EQ is;
– To continue to grow my empathy as a leader, by ensuring I actively listen without interrupting. Pay attention to non-verbal cues like body language and facial expressions. Practice perspective-taking by imagining myself in the other person’s situation. Regularly seek feedback from peers on my emotional responses and interactions. Engage in mindfulness exercises to become more aware of my own emotions, which will help me recognise and manage these better.
– Improving empathy will enhance my leadership by fostering a more supportive and understanding environment. It will build stronger relationships, increase trust, and improve communication. Our team will likely feel more valued and motivated, leading to increased collaboration and productivity. By showing I genuinely care about their emotions, I can continue to be a leader they can trust and want to work alongside to achieve our school vision.
Kia ora Linda, I tautoko you in that I need to be very purposeful in my non-verbal cues! I have been working hard to gain a better awareness of how I am perceived by others in a discussion and be more ‘open’ with my body language. Some great insights in your comments thanks for sharing.
My key takeaway from the discussion on Daniel Goleman’s concept of Emotional Intelligence (EQ) is the understanding that EQ is crucial for personal and professional success, often surpassing the importance of cognitive intelligence (IQ). I realise that Goleman’s work emphasises the ability to recognise, understand, and manage my own emotions, as well as those of others. I see how this ability plays an important role in overall team efficiency. I understand that developing EQ can significantly enhance my chances of success in my leadership roles.
It’s an interesting way of looking at things, isn’t it? If you reflect on leaders who have had a profound influence on you it is likely those who had great EQ.