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Module 6

Te Whakahaere Kōrero Aua (Navigating Challenging Conversations) me Te Whakatau Ta rata (Conflict Resolution)

Due: End of Term 2/3 school holidays 

NB: We have had a technical issue which has been brought to our attention, and this module was not displayed online as per the timeline – our apologies.

 

Mā mua ka kite a muri; Mā muri ka ora a mua.

Those who lead give sight to those who follow; Those who follow give life to those who lead.

 

Module Objectives:

  • Understand the dynamics of challenging conversations.
  • Develop and apply strategies for effective communication in challenging situations.
  • Explore and apply various conflict resolution strategies.
  • Foster a culture of open dialogue and constructive feedback.
  • Identify and address personal biases and assumptions that may impact communication and conflict resolution.

 

“To lead effectively we’re responsible for respecting and leveraging the different views and staying curious about how they can often conflict.” (Dare to Lead, page 174).

 As educational leaders, we often have a different horizon and perspective to our colleagues.

Even as teachers wearing different ‘hats’, for example, on different curriculum committees, we will be focused on different goals. It’s up to us, as leaders, to communicate our perspective, try to use our empathy skills to see from our colleagues’ perspectives, and rumble enough to get on the same page when we can. So how do we do this?

“Developing a disciplined practice of rumbling with vulnerability gives leaders the strength and emotional stamina to dare greatly.” (Dare to Lead, Page 167).

There is a need to empower school leaders with conflict management training before they assume their leadership positions.

 

Provocation/Task:

“The only thing I know for sure after all of this research is that if you’re going to dare greatly, you’re going to get your ass kicked at some point. If you choose courage, you will absolutely know failure, disappointment, setback, even heartbreak. That’s why we call it courage. That’s why it’s so rare.” (Brene Brown, Dare to Lead).

Choose a question(s) to discuss with your learning partner, via email/phone/online conversation. You might want to share a particular challenging conversation you have had recently or have coming up with your learning partner and seek advice from a different perspective. Share your thoughts after the conversion as a forum response in less than 150 words:

★ Reflect on Part 1 of Dare to Lead, what stands out?

★ What Daring Leadership tool is going to make the biggest difference to you as an educational leader?

★ How can you be prepared as a culturally responsive leader, to handle conflict and crisis as it arises? What biases or assumptions might you hold?

★ How have you/could you foster a culture of open dialogue and constructive feedback at your kura/your team?

 

Resources:

Additional/Optional Readings:

 

Assessment:

  • Completion of all readings.
  • Participation in the online forum discussion.
  • Submission of reflection on the forum.

21 Responses

  1. Catherine and I discussed how we could foster a culture of open dialogue and constructive feedback at your kura and in your team. I Annette shared experiences about our PE department and how in 2024 we had two new part-time staff members in our department to start the year. A way to develop culture and open dialogue was to have ‘walk throughs’ where staff were asked to walk through each others classes and observe 10-15 mins. IT didn’t quite have the impact I was hoping – and Catherine suggested that I should have used my own lesson first and critiqued this to show vulnerability and gain the constructive feedback I was hoping the walk throughs were going to create. Greater clarity around expectations and model outcomes at the outset would’ve been more advantageous. Reflected that next steps would be it was great to have open door policy – but we needed to have more constructive feedback. We talked about expectations need to align with that of the class / team and department – especially staff in terms of whats expected. Eg. some staff hung up on gaining every student to academic Excellence. We also reflected around our past and how this has shaped our teaching we are now much more relaxed, chilled out, not holding onto the small stuff – and especially now that we have our own kids – this allows us to have a different handle on how we relate, interact with our students.

    1. That sounds like a really positive dialogue Annette and Catherine. Although your teaching disciplines are widely differing, there are so many parts of your job that are similar. It’s very liberating talking to someone from outside your own bubble isn’t it.

  2. Kia ora all, Georgia and I collectively came up with the following bullet points to the following question ‘ How have you/could you foster a culture of open dialogue and constructive feedback at your kura/your team?’

    Build strong, trusting relationships first – create a safe space where people feel valued and heard. This can be achieved through tone of voice as well and open body language/poster.
    Be approachable and present – genuinely listen and show interest in others’ ideas and concerns. Make the time for team members when they come and see you by putting other work down etc.
    Model how to give and receive feedback in a respectful, solution-focused way
    Use MATES – Mutually Agreed Team Expectations
    Co-construct team norms together
    Encourage shared ownership of expectations
    Revisit and reflect on them regularly
    Create regular opportunities for kōrero:
    Team check-ins
    Reflection sessions
    “Wins and wonders” sharing
    begin regular team meetings with a ‘what’s on top’
    Reinforce that feedback is about growth, not criticism
    Keep reminding everyone: Feedback is a gift – it helps us grow!
    Modelling vulnerability in leadership, share in times that we have made mistakes.
    Make staff feel safe to express ideas and concerns without fear and judgement
    Give regular opportunities to allow team members to offer ideas and take on responsibility – showing that you trust them and don’t feel the need to micromanage.
    Treat your team members with kindness and respect. Remember to show appreciation and use manners – small moments add up to make people feel valued.

    1. What a great record of what must have been a very productive discussion. Well done. I can tell that you agreed on so much.It must have been really affirming to have such an affirming discussion. You’ve made great points.

  3. After Charlotte and I individually reflected on the readings, particularly Brene Brown’s insights on vulnerability, we both think it’s crucial that we “walk the talk” and model the behaviors we want to see in our teams.
    To address the question of how we can foster a culture of open dialogue and constructive feedback, here’s what we thought:
    Acknowledge Vulnerability: We need to create a safe space where team members feel comfortable sharing their thoughts and concerns, even if they’re difficult. This means being open, honest, and clear in our communication, and demonstrating vulnerability ourselves.
    Share Experiences: Charlotte thought about past conversations about appropriate attire, and how she could handle similar situations more effectively in the future. We agreed it’s about framing feedback as an opportunity for growth, not personal criticism. In Peter’s case where he is leading change rather than a team specifically, the same rules would apply. Team members and colleagues won’t accept guidance or change without trust and accountability, as well as an expectation that Peter can be relied upon to know what he is talking about and be available for support.
    Highlight Key Takeaways: The readings emphasized the importance of trust, a shared purpose, and clear expectations. We need to build a strong foundation of trust within our teams to make feedback easier to give and receive.
    Propose Practical Steps: To create a more open and feedback-rich environment, we could consider:
    Asking for Feedback: We should be proactive in seeking feedback from our team members on how we can improve or be more supportive.
    Setting Clear Expectations: Ensuring everyone understands what’s expected of them is crucial.
    Practicing Active Listening: We need to create space for team members to share their thoughts and concerns without judgment.
    Focusing on Improvement: Feedback should always be framed as an opportunity for professional growth and development, with the ultimate goal of benefiting our students.
    Ultimately, we need to commit to fostering open dialogue and constructive feedback within our teams, always keeping our students’ well-being at the forefront.

    1. Thank you for your thoughtful response Peter. You and Charlotte have worked well together to produce a really good list of positive actions. It would be interesting for you to do an audit of the leadership you see every day according to the priorities you have set.

  4. I’ve just finished reading the replacement doc re the colaboration between the mainstream school system and whanau, Iwi, Hapu. I was particularly interested in the case study of Ngā Puna O Waiōrea, Western Springs College as the kura I work in has a rumaki unit. While it also operates within the school campus and there is a lot of interaction between the Rumaki and mainstream classes, it operates independantly and with it’s own SOP’s, something I dont always agree with. I do however love seeing the very active whanau and community involvment with what happens within the unit and see this as a model easy duplicated across the school, perhaps within each of the learning centres. Our Kura has a relationship with the local Iwi, and the history of the whenua we stand on is the basis of a lot of enquiry. I do therefore wonder that while our Rumaki is a beautiful space, there is a lot more we could do, perhaps drawing on other models such as Western Springs College or the Christchurch case study.

  5. Hi all, Christina and I discussed the following question:

    ★ How have you/could you foster a culture of open dialogue and constructive feedback at your kura/your team?

    We talked about how Brene Brown mentions modelling vulnerability in leadership and how staff are more likely to engage openly when they feel safe to express ideas and concerns without fear of judgement.

    She identifies how conflict often stems from “horizon misalignment” not ill intent. For example a clash in perspectives based on how far ahead people are looking – some are focused on the short-term and others on the long-term. This can lead to frustration and, misunderstanding and miscommunication. Leaders often default to their own horizon and assume others are prioritising the same things. Through her Horizon Conflict method (identifying a conflict or tension; identifying each stakeholder’s horizon; identifying the mismatch/misalignment then finding a realignment solution) there is a reduction in personalisation of conflict, and a re-building of mutual respect.

    For full team dialogue we talked about frontloading agendas so that the team have time to think about their responses as well as the leader having the expertise to lead the conversation. We talked about how it is important to allow everyone to have their say and to be sensitive and responsive to different cultures and opinions (particularly in a languages department!). Equally, we agreed that full team conversations can lose focus and spiral out of control and that it is important to have a definitive end with clear action points for moving forward – by doing this, the team know that there is a purpose to the meeting and that the dialogue has been worthwhile.

    For 1:1 dialogue we discussed how non-confrontational body language and a warm yet assertive tone of voice is needed. Christina mentioned using a well-being check-in scale to gauge how her team were coping with the demands of work and life.

    In all situations regarding dialogue and feedback we kept coming back to the need for genuine and sustained positive relationships with the team and the need for building relational trust.

    Hope you all have a lovely break!

    1. Great response Christina and Sam. You’ve got quite a blue print there for establishing constructive and productive dialogue with your team members.
      You both have a well earned break as well!

      2

  6. A number of themes and messages have been consistent throughout the programe thus far; honesty, transparency, vulnerability, clarity and recognising that for you to be an effective and efficasious leader others have to follow. Being clear in your messaging at all times is imperative, which is easy and instantly rewarding when discussing a positive, however when planning a difficult conversation that may not be so. Here it is doubley important. Clarity and empathy must be at the forefront. Delivering your message and concerns confidently remembering initially you may not know the others persons POV and why those concerning issues or behaviours are being demonstrating. You need to know the why.

    1. I’ve just watched Emma’s video about these couragous conversations, and again the common themes prevail. I do think however that the way to overcome the fear of conflict is to simply put your big girl knickers on is overly simplistic. While the other elements such as preperation etc will assist here, the cause of your fears may be complex. Your own experiences and personality will be at the heart of your fear and perhaps some internal preperation and support in overcoming those fears may be part of ther recipe, prior to be being in the position of needing to overcome that fear.

  7. Hi Geraldine and others – The link to the second resource does not take you to the pdf (Developing collaborative connections between schools and Māori communities, Mere Berryman, Therese Ford and Margaret Egan, (PDF Pg 19-21) https://www.nzcer.org.nz/system/files/set2015_3_018_1.pdf )
    Just wondering if there is an alternative link to access this pdf? Or if others have found it another way? When I google the title I find a link but the pdf is sitting behind a $25 fee.

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