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Module 9

Conflict and Crisis/ Courageous Conversations

Due: 8th August

 

Mā mua ka kite a muri; Mā muri ka ora a mua.

Those who lead give sight to those who follow; Those who follow give life to those who lead.

 

“To lead effectively we’re responsible for respecting and leveraging the different views and staying curious about how they can often conflict.” (Dare to Lead, page 174).

 As educational leaders, we often have a different horizon and perspective to our colleagues.

Even as teachers wearing different ‘hats’, for example, on different curriculum committees, we will be focused on different goals. It’s up to us, as leaders, to communicate our perspective, try to use our empathy skills to see from our colleagues’ perspectives, and rumble enough to get on the same page when we can. So how do we do this?

“Developing a disciplined practice of rumbling with vulnerability gives leaders the strength and emotional stamina to dare greatly.” (Dare to Lead, Page 167).

There is a need to empower school leaders with conflict management training before they assume their leadership positions.

 

Provocation/Task:

“The only thing I know for sure after all of this research is that if you’re going to dare greatly, you’re going to get your ass kicked at some point. If you choose courage, you will absolutely know failure, disappointment, setback, even heartbreak. That’s why we call it courage. That’s why it’s so rare.” (Brene Brown, Dare to Lead).

Choose a question and share your response in less than 150 words:

★ Reflect on Part 1 of Dare to Lead, what stands out?

★ What Daring Leadership tool is going to make the biggest difference to you as an educational leader?

★ How can you be prepared as a culturally responsive leader, to handle conflict and crisis as it arises?

 

Resources:

Additional/Optional Readings:

 

25 Responses

  1. Trust and Vulnerability go hand in hand- Creating a safe place for students and staff to show their vulnerability, and speak up when and if things arise for them, ensuring they feel comfortable to share their thoughts and concerns without judgment. Vulnerability allows us as leaders to be genuine and build stronger relationships with students, staff members and parents/whanau. Us as leaders showing vulnerability, we model to others the openness and honesty therefore being able to provide feedforward and feedback, be able to engage in courageous conversations that have meaningful dialogue.
    Having those courageous conversations that are genuine, open and honest can therefore lead to significant changes in the classroom and school culture benefiting us as staff and our students.

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  2. Ladson-Billings (2017) discusses the importance of knowing your community and the cultural capital it contains. This includes the teachers in our schools. They are the leaders of learning in the classroom so it is important to know of their cultural capital in order to lead them effectively. Early on working at Glen Taylor, I spoke rather pointedly to a young Tongan teacher about her report writing. It was not proofread, full of grammatical errors and quite unprofessional. However, it was the wrong approach and it took a long time to build back that relational trust and collegiality again. If I had thought about her cultural frames of reference or communication style, I would have approached this differently (The Education Hub, 2019). As a result of this huge learning experience, I am now very aware of approaching and leading our very multicultural teaching staff. Bishop (2019) talks about the importance of learners having great relationships with their teachers – the same has to be said of leaders and their staff. Relationships are key. Bishop goes on to explain that “the quality of relationships are fundamental for effective interactions and this has major implications for education reform.” Essentially know your learners, their strengths, their weaknesses and use this knowledge to lead Culturally Responsive and Sustaining Pedagogy effectively. And as Marshall Diggs says, “Be clear to be kind, Clarity is key and always ensure the person you are speaking to leaves with their mana intact.”

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  3. Brene Brown – As a leader I need to work through the uncomfortable, the rumbling as it is through this process you grow. It allows you to lead through your values and build trust. When seeking feedback from others an example of being vulnerable and reflecting on this build courage. Leaders need to respect different points of view and be curious about them.
    I think this is very topical at the moment with the government announcements and individuals responses to these. As leaders we set the tone and can create an environment where people feel safe to share their opinions. I think as leaders and teachers we are feeling vulnerable at the pace changes are happening.
    “The courage to be vulnerable is not about winning or losing, it’s about the courage to show up when you can’t predict or control the outcome” (pg xviii).

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  4. ‘How can you be prepared as a culturally responsive leader, to handle conflict and crisis as it arises?’

    Berryman, Ford, and Egan’s article arrived at a pivotal moment in my reflection on Courageous Conversations. The points they raise resonate deeply with me and have clear relevance across the various leadership roles I hold. While the article focuses on connecting with Māori whānau, its core principle of offering who you are and what you bring before making requests—along with listening more than speaking—offers valuable guidance for engaging with Māori communities and adapting to the school culture in which I work.

    This perspective, combined with Brené Brown’s mantra of ‘Clear to be Kind,’ equips us to be culturally responsive during conflict and crisis. It urges us to pause and listen, allowing us to grasp the essence of the issue and respond with both humanity and clarity, as appropriate.

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  5. ★ Reflect on Part 1 of Dare to Lead, what stands out?
    What stands out for me?
    Who We Are is How We Lead – self-awareness and self-love matter. We cannot change who we are as we have been shaped by our upbringing, our experiences of school and study, our experiences in the world of education, both in the classroom and as leaders. Being brave enough to show up to difficult situations.
    You can’t get to courage without rumbling with vulnerability. Embrace the suck. The need to have tough conversations, to stay vulnerable and curious, even when you don’t know what the outcome might be. To have an open heart and an open mind to find a solution. For me, this means learning to live with the uncertainty of the outcome, not trying to predict or forecast what the solution might be, and being open to seeing things from different perspectives, thus respecting the ideas and perspectives of others. Looking to various horizons for possible conflicts, working with those who have different perspectives, but still upholding the horizon or goal of the school as a whole.
    Balancing the tightrope of life: the ability to thrive in the ambiguity of paradoxes and opposites (Dheeraj, pg 169)

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  6. In the later pages of Part 1 of “Dare to Lead,” Brené Brown presents a compelling case study by Dr. Sanée Bell that stood out to me, particularly on the themes of vulnerability and self-awareness. The scenario of supporting a team member or having a difficult conversation came to mind. Practising vulnerability is essential for being a “whole” person, integrating our personal lives into work, and bringing a genuine sense of self to leadership. This approach fosters trust and authenticity. Equally important is becoming self-aware, ensuring that my limitations don’t misalign with my actions or words. To maintain this self-awareness, I try to seek feedback from my team members, which helps me stay connected and responsive to their needs and perspectives.

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  7. Reflect on Part 1 of Dare to Lead, what stands out?

    Vulnerability is something that has been almost forced upon me in the last few months so all of Part 1 has really resonated and stood out to me. Brene’s Six Myths of Vulnerability were all things I believed and whilst reading about them could’ve been certain she had been inside my brain collecting information for this. While it has been hard to demonstrate vulnerability, as Brene concludes, being able to remove my own ‘armour’ has allowed me to build acceptance, connection and trust within my school’s new staffing structure by stacking small pieces of information and vulnerable moments. I also love Brene’s view on honesty (which was backed up in Marshall’s video) – being clear is kind. It has been so important while building trust and connection to ensure that I have spoken the truth and my truth even if there were fears of the truth possibly eliciting hurt or shame.

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  8. Many key ideas about conflict from Part 1 of Dare to Lead stood out to me, but mostly the idea that being courageous in conversations takes practice and developing the ability to be open to learning about yourself and the other person involved.
    This means that:
    – It is important to fully listen and understand what people say during conflict. This may involve asking questions to check your understanding, not jumping to conclusions or checking the basis of your preconceived ideas before the conversation takes place.
    – You do not need to provide an answer or defence straight away, but “Stay tethered to your values, respond rather than react emotionally, and operate from self-awareness, not self-protection.” p. 168.
    – Allowing each other time to think and come back to the conversation at a later time (but still promptly – within a day or two) can be a way of showing how you listened, cared and are committed to problem-solving with the other person.

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  9. Brene Brown talks about Vulnerability and Courage and how vulnerability never becomes comfortable P170-171.

    This resonated with me as I’m working through things with a new staff member where the key focus is to build relationships and then focus on teaching and learning. Recently, I needed to have a conversation after a number of staff came to me with concerns, adding to what I was thinking, about the classroom teaching and learning programme. Everything Brene talked about in her book happened at this time: ‘It was hard and awkward, and uncomfortable.’ I did NOT know how it was going to turn out going forward.’

    The conversion was okay but the talking over and the excuses were challenging. Later in the day, I received a long justification type of email but in the last paragraph she thanked me. Brene says ‘People don’t know how much you know until they know how much you care.’ P179 However, I was not relieved. I felt curious about her response. I am still immersed in the act of ‘Vulnerability and Courage’, while we move forward.

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  10. What stood out in Brown’s section for me, was the need to develop the fundamental skill (I particularly liked the reference to sport) to “rumble with vulnerability”.
    As a leader and especially a Principal, I can imagine there are many conversations that require problem solving in a calm, open minded way – to “respond rather than react”. This takes confidence, and to develop this confidence, takes practice.
    I think it takes real skill as a leader to have difficult conversations. Having the practice and taking the time to create a shared understanding of the ‘problem’ creates commitment to solving the issue. When people feel like they have had an opportunity to have their say, have been listened to and fully understand the beliefs and reasoning behind the other person’s view, it is more likely to lead to shared ownership of the problem. Furthermore, it is more likely that both people in the conversation are accountable for a plan to find a solution.
    Linking to Sinek, the “leaders set the tone’- When staff or parents heighten the tone, it is up to the leader to manage the direction that can take. This is something I think is daring, and would make a difference to a leader.

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  11. Part one of Brené Brown’s “Dare to Lead,” titled “Rumbling with Vulnerability,” explores the significance of vulnerability in professional environments.
    Brown challenges the traditional view of vulnerability as a weakness, arguing instead that it is the cornerstone of courage and innovation. She encourages leaders to embrace uncertainty and emotional exposure to foster trust, creativity, and meaningful connections within their teams. Brown emphasises the importance of clear communication, empathy, and the willingness to have tough conversations in order to build authentic trust.
    In my time as a leader, I have been able to experience times where difficult conversations with staff, if handled correctly, have led to increased trust and respect. With this in mind, difficult situations can be viewed as opportunities to move forward.

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  12. After reading Part 1 of Dare to Lead, I was struck by the importance Brené Brown places on trust.
    “We need to trust to be vulnerable, and we need to be vulnerable in order to trust.” This resonated with me as I reflected on my relationships in which I have with my current colleagues. Another quote that stood out was, “Trust is earned in the smallest moments, through paying attention, listening, and gestures of genuine care and connection.” As a team leader, I plan to implement these insights by focusing on genuine interactions with my team. I want to prioritize being present in conversations, actively listening, and acknowledging contributions. Additionally, I want to work more on modeling my vulnerability by sharing my experiences and challenges, fostering a safe space for open communication. By consistently showing empathy and attention, I hope to build a culture of trust where team members feel valued and empowered to take risks and grow.

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  13. Whoops – I accidentally posted on the wrong forum haha. I was so efficient too..

    What stood out for me in Part 1 of Dare to Lead was the idea that showing vulnerability doesn’t reflect weakness but is actually a crucial way to build trust. The ability to show authenticity, own your challenges, and speak openly about them supports your team in essentially realising that we are all human at the end of the day.

    The tool ‘BRAVING’ was something that I felt could make a difference (Boundaries, Reliability, Accountability, Vault, Integrity, Non-judgment, and Generosity). Reflecting on my leadership journey so far (all 2.1 terms of it, haha), I feel that I already do a lot of these things and know that they have made a difference in my leadership. My team gave me feedback about what I have done as a leader to grow and maintain their trust, and a lot of it included these things. This is a tool that I will continue to develop as I grow as a leader.

    I need to be prepared for conflict or crisis by knowing my team inside and out and how they might respond to situations moving forward. When trust is high in a team, this often also reflects that leaders have taken the time to get to know their team, and I feel that this, in combination with the tools suggested in ‘Dare to Lead’, is the best way to prepare for issues in the future.

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  14. Kia ora koutou everyone! – I hope term 3 starting well for everyone.

    ★ How can you be prepared as a culturally responsive leader, to handle conflict and crisis as it arises?

    As a leader you need high levels of cultural competencies, and self awareness. This will enable your ability to build high trust and collaborative connections and relationships which support the implementation of inclusive practices.

    I could see many comparisons and connections from Simon Seneks TED talk (American military stories and leadership context) and the research of Berryman, Ford, Egan Reading – (Te Aō Māori kaupapa and contexts).

    Senek – Get the environment right, everyone one of us has the capacity to do remarkable things & conditions inside the organisation that matters, when everyone feels safe, remarkable things happen.

    Berryman – What does power sharing mean in terms of engagement with māori whānau and communities – historically has been determined by the schools

    Senek – Deep sense of trust and cooperation – are feelings not instructions
    Berryman – Majority culture needs to take on a less powerful, responsive and listening role – to develop trust

    Senek – The creation of a Circle of safety, amongst our own
    Berryman – You need to contribute – before you take out

    Senek – Help the person to the left and right of you
    Berryman – You need to build a relationship of trust with the community, they are able to determine from their own perspective how they will participate

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